Addition and Subtraction

Hello Ladies!

Again, it's been awhile.  Life is still life.  I am still in India.  The weather continues to be glorious although you can feel a bit more humidity and heat in the air.  I'm sure it's forshadowing of things to come :(

As you can see by the title of my post, I've been adding and subtracting things to/from my life.  Adding and subtracting being the two math things I'm really good at. 

Added:  I've started a book group!  We are meeting once a month and we added a new member just today so we are up to 5 brave souls!  We are small but mighty :)  I'm so excited about this! 

Added:  I've started a "Women's Get Together" at one of our local restaurants.  We get together every Wednesday from 5-7pm to have a glass of wine or a cup of coffee.  First time there were 5 ladies.  Last time, there were 10 and everyone said they were having a wonderful time and were so thankful this was started!  So, YAY!!!

Added:  Two new books that I'm reading - at the same time - but that compliment each other in every way.  One is the "Laws of Attraction" and the other is "The Four Agreements".  I can't say enough about these books.......the "Laws of Attraction" is a bit weird in it's premise (channeling a group of spirit guides) BUT.....and I do mean HOLD ON.......the premise of the book is absolutely wonderful and I'm getting so much out of it!  Thank you, thank you, thank you, Shani!!!  As usual - my emotional and spiritual mentor has my back!

Added:  A fun trip to Dubai for Joel and I coming up in a couple of weeks!  4 days - can't wait.

Added:  A week in Paris with my GIRLS!!!!!!!  First time for 2 of us - Meg is the pro!  We have rented a wonderful flat for the week and we can't wait!  Who doesn't want to go to Paris in April???  Everyone sing the song!

Subtracted:  A friend who, as it turns out, wasn't much of a friend after all.  At my ripe old age (57) I'm finally getting a spine.....so maybe I should say -

Added:  A spine! 

Added:  Permission to be myself, whatever that means.  Permission to say "no", permission to disagree, permission to think I'm worth far more than a friend who doesn't treat me very well!  (See above "Added")

All in all, life is still fun and I'm thinking of new things to do - finally things I'm interested in - and I'm giving myself permission to persue those things!  On Monday, I'm starting an embroidery class that specializes in the different styles found in India.  Every state has a different style!

Hope you are all well! 

Be nice to yourselves!
B

How To Be A Good Friend

Hello Ladies - long time, yeah?  I hope you've had a wonderful Christmas and New Year!!  I spent my Christmas and New Year (2 weeks of it) in Hawaii with all my kids and spouses!  It was the most bestest Christmas I've had in a long time!  How wonderful it was to travel with adult children - no "Mommy-ing"!  Yay!  This is why you don't kill them when they are small :)  (Kidding people!)   The last week of vacation was spent in the "ArticVortexed" Kansas City.  OMG, just OMG.  I have discovered that I have truly lost all my cold weather blood and I am okay with that.  It was fun seeing people and hanging out AND I got to smoggle (combo mother/snuggle) a new born baby.  Can't beat that!

So, you know me, right?  No good time abroad goes unpunished.  This time, I came home with an abscess in my nose.  YES, you got that right.  An abscess in my nose.  And it was painful.  And the entire right side of my face was swollen with infection.  And it was gross.  Did I mention painful?  Anyway, I am 100% now, thanks to antibiotics.  This brings me to my topic for today:  How to Be a Good Friend...or maybe more importantly, Are You a Good Friend??

I've discovered that people respond in one of three ways.  You have your "OMG, HOW HORRIBLE!!!!!"    "Let me know what I can do for you!"   On the face of it, this seems like a really caring thing to say.  You've got the correct response up front - the OMG response.  But - and here's the big but - we ALL know that there isn't a woman on earth who is going to "ask" for help.  Seriously.  I will lay there with multiple compound fractures but I will NOT call any friend and say "hey, about that offer for help......"   This is SUCH a safe response to a friend's illness or injury, is it not?  Be honest - haven't we ALL said this....even though we know DEEP DOWN that we are in the clear, they will never ask anything of us, but we have maintained our "Good Friend" status by at least (and this is the VERY least), saying "let me know what I can do for you." 

Then there are the "OMG, HOW HORRIBLE"..... "I meant to call but I got busy-it slipped my mind-I've had SUCH a stressful day/week/month."  Really?  THAT'S what you're going with?  Why can't you be honest and say "gee, you really aren't much of a priority and actually, I can't be bothered," because, really...isn't that what you mean??  The best part of the "I've had SUCH a stressful day/week/month" response is when your "friend" proceeds to tell YOU - the SICK person - all about their woes.  Because yes, as the SICK person, we really want to, and are in the position to, sympathize with the problems you are having with your maid/husband/driver/kids/husband/sewage system.


Now - the best friends....they are the ones that don't wait to be asked.  They arrive with a pot of chicken soup, extra kleenexes, 7Up, crackers, a good story, maybe a bit of funny gossip, and a warm hug.  They know you well enough - and are empathetic -  enough to know what it is you need.  You don't "slip their mind."  They are never "too busy."  They care about you.  Keep these people in your life.  Do whatever you need to do, but more importantly, BE these people.  It takes an hour to make soup, a trip to the store takes 15 minutes, gossip and hugs are free. 

Be good to yourselves!
B