Hello Ladies - long time, yeah? I hope you've had a wonderful Christmas and New Year!! I spent my Christmas and New Year (2 weeks of it) in Hawaii with all my kids and spouses! It was the most bestest Christmas I've had in a long time! How wonderful it was to travel with adult children - no "Mommy-ing"! Yay! This is why you don't kill them when they are small :) (Kidding people!) The last week of vacation was spent in the "ArticVortexed" Kansas City. OMG, just OMG. I have discovered that I have truly lost all my cold weather blood and I am okay with that. It was fun seeing people and hanging out AND I got to smoggle (combo mother/snuggle) a new born baby. Can't beat that!
So, you know me, right? No good time abroad goes unpunished. This time, I came home with an abscess in my nose. YES, you got that right. An abscess in my nose. And it was painful. And the entire right side of my face was swollen with infection. And it was gross. Did I mention painful? Anyway, I am 100% now, thanks to antibiotics. This brings me to my topic for today: How to Be a Good Friend...or maybe more importantly, Are You a Good Friend??
I've discovered that people respond in one of three ways. You have your "OMG, HOW HORRIBLE!!!!!" "Let me know what I can do for you!" On the face of it, this seems like a really caring thing to say. You've got the correct response up front - the OMG response. But - and here's the big but - we ALL know that there isn't a woman on earth who is going to "ask" for help. Seriously. I will lay there with multiple compound fractures but I will NOT call any friend and say "hey, about that offer for help......" This is SUCH a safe response to a friend's illness or injury, is it not? Be honest - haven't we ALL said this....even though we know DEEP DOWN that we are in the clear, they will never ask anything of us, but we have maintained our "Good Friend" status by at least (and this is the VERY least), saying "let me know what I can do for you."
Then there are the "OMG, HOW HORRIBLE"..... "I meant to call but I got busy-it slipped my mind-I've had SUCH a stressful day/week/month." Really? THAT'S what you're going with? Why can't you be honest and say "gee, you really aren't much of a priority and actually, I can't be bothered," because, really...isn't that what you mean?? The best part of the "I've had SUCH a stressful day/week/month" response is when your "friend" proceeds to tell YOU - the SICK person - all about their woes. Because yes, as the SICK person, we really want to, and are in the position to, sympathize with the problems you are having with your maid/husband/driver/kids/husband/sewage system.
Now - the best friends....they are the ones that don't wait to be asked. They arrive with a pot of chicken soup, extra kleenexes, 7Up, crackers, a good story, maybe a bit of funny gossip, and a warm hug. They know you well enough - and are empathetic - enough to know what it is you need. You don't "slip their mind." They are never "too busy." They care about you. Keep these people in your life. Do whatever you need to do, but more importantly, BE these people. It takes an hour to make soup, a trip to the store takes 15 minutes, gossip and hugs are free.
Be good to yourselves!
B
So, you know me, right? No good time abroad goes unpunished. This time, I came home with an abscess in my nose. YES, you got that right. An abscess in my nose. And it was painful. And the entire right side of my face was swollen with infection. And it was gross. Did I mention painful? Anyway, I am 100% now, thanks to antibiotics. This brings me to my topic for today: How to Be a Good Friend...or maybe more importantly, Are You a Good Friend??
I've discovered that people respond in one of three ways. You have your "OMG, HOW HORRIBLE!!!!!" "Let me know what I can do for you!" On the face of it, this seems like a really caring thing to say. You've got the correct response up front - the OMG response. But - and here's the big but - we ALL know that there isn't a woman on earth who is going to "ask" for help. Seriously. I will lay there with multiple compound fractures but I will NOT call any friend and say "hey, about that offer for help......" This is SUCH a safe response to a friend's illness or injury, is it not? Be honest - haven't we ALL said this....even though we know DEEP DOWN that we are in the clear, they will never ask anything of us, but we have maintained our "Good Friend" status by at least (and this is the VERY least), saying "let me know what I can do for you."
Then there are the "OMG, HOW HORRIBLE"..... "I meant to call but I got busy-it slipped my mind-I've had SUCH a stressful day/week/month." Really? THAT'S what you're going with? Why can't you be honest and say "gee, you really aren't much of a priority and actually, I can't be bothered," because, really...isn't that what you mean?? The best part of the "I've had SUCH a stressful day/week/month" response is when your "friend" proceeds to tell YOU - the SICK person - all about their woes. Because yes, as the SICK person, we really want to, and are in the position to, sympathize with the problems you are having with your maid/husband/driver/kids/husband/sewage system.
Now - the best friends....they are the ones that don't wait to be asked. They arrive with a pot of chicken soup, extra kleenexes, 7Up, crackers, a good story, maybe a bit of funny gossip, and a warm hug. They know you well enough - and are empathetic - enough to know what it is you need. You don't "slip their mind." They are never "too busy." They care about you. Keep these people in your life. Do whatever you need to do, but more importantly, BE these people. It takes an hour to make soup, a trip to the store takes 15 minutes, gossip and hugs are free.
Be good to yourselves!
B
No comments:
Post a Comment